Answering rhetorical questions is only one of the many annoying things I'm prone to do.

Why do I always assume it was something I did?

I guess it's easier to take responsibility than to assign blame. Or maybe it's just more comfortable. Maybe it's what I'm used to, the way I'm used to things going, and it's easier to assume it's me, than that there could be another explanation. Maybe I looked for other explanations too many times without finding them, once upon a time, and now it doesn't even occur to me to look. Everything is cause and effect for me, and maybe I'm always looking for the cause, trying to make things easier, better, smoother, whateverer.

I'm so used to steeling myself for a figurative blow, inwardly flinching after everything I say, waiting for the problem I didn't realize I caused, and trying to fix it before it even occurs. I'm reacting differently now, but it's slow. Those old habits die hard, and even though I'm afraid I will fall back into old patterns, even though I sometimes see parts of myself trying to from time to time, now I mostly stop them. Sometimes it just takes a little while. And I realize that this is incoherent, and I'm sorry. I'm just bad at this stuff. Maybe I'll get better, maybe I'm getting better, maybe trying is really all I need to do.

Expectation is a funny thing, I tried to talk about it recently, but found that I couldn't really say what I meant. It's the little things, and the big things, and the fact that often these days, the responses I'm getting are the ones I never would have dared expect, because they're the ones I wanted.

Well, after deciding that I was going to take a week off of the internet, (or most of the internet, to be honest) I've come to the conclusions that:
a) I am a weak, weak, person.
b) Too much of my social interaction is web based.
c) I'm really rather narcissistic.
d) I still have a rather large number of things to say.
e) I'm more emotional when I deny myself the outlet of writing
f) More stuff that I'll not go into right now (or likely ever)

Oops I did it again.

It just occured to me that my posts of late have been quite small, and not particularly telling. Also, I haven't been using song lyrics for the post titles nearly as much. I think I should start posting more substantial things. No more 1 paragraph entries!

New pants are good.

New shoes are a seemingly impossible dream.

That's all.

It takes me so long, just to figure out what I'm gonna wear

How is it that someone with as many clothes as I have can't find a single pair of pants or skirt that is the perfect bottom for my Drunkprov tank top?

Hi-ho, Hi-ho, off to the mall I go....

Drunkprov

Are you coming to DRUNKPROV? Because you should. I will be drinking and talking, so it'll be like any other time you see me, except that I'll also be on stage, which at least a couple of you haven't seen.

Please keep in mind that Drunkprov is not a family friendly show. Do not bring your children or your parents. I fully expect to do and say things that I will hope to forget by morning, so if you've been looking for that thing to give me shit about for the next 5 or 10 years, this is it folks.

For the link-challenged, it's happening this Saturday at 10:30. The cost is $5. 18 And over only.

Like rain, on your wedding day

That girl's word of the day:

i·ro·ny ( P ) Pronunciation Key n. pl. i·ro·nies
1.
a) The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
b) An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
c) A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.

2.
a) Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain).
b) An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth EditionCopyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Sometimes I think I'd like to be a private investigator. Sometimes figuring things out is really important to me, and it makes me really happy when I do so.

Sometimes I'd rather not have to figure stuff out though. Sometimes I wish people had just told me what was going on to start with. Sometimes I like to be unnecessarily vague just for the hell of it. If you think I'm talking about you, perhaps you have something to tell me?

(By the way Glitch there are a lot of people I'm not talking about here, and you happen to be one of them, so you can stop racking your brain, trying to figure out what the hell you did)

How very daring to have ordered a chili burger for lunch on a day when I wore a white shirt.

How very lucky to have managed to come out of the burger eating unscathed.

How very unfortunate to have then spilled Diet Coke all over myself.

(That last part hasn't actually happened yet, but I figure, it's bound to, any minute now so I might as well at least be prepared, you know?)

Unforgettable

Yesterday, or the day before, I was complaining about something in the (hopefully) funny fashion that I tend to complain about things in, and I had fully intended to share that complaint with you, my faithful blog readers, but alas, I find myself completely unable to recall what could possibly have annoyed me. Were I forced to guess I'd say it most certainly had something to do with stupidity, either mine, or that of others, but I honestly haven't the foggiest what it was. C'est la vie.
Other than that I only have good things to say, so I guess I'll shut up now.